"What'd you do over the weekend?" "Oh, nothing."

When people ask what I've done over the weekend, I typically reply something like "nothing much." But when I went to document my weekend as it went along in cartoon form, I discovered that a LOT happened last weekend.

Like falling down:

I, luckily, didn't land on the dog. Thinking about it has made me realize that I fall down a lot. Or get hit by cars. Or trip up or down stairs. I may be the clumsiest person alive, which, according to the America's Funniest Home Videos index (see below), might make me the funniest person ever.

These things describe me!

Then I gave a bunch of stuff to the Goodwill, including my wedding dress.

I figured I wasn't going to ever fit into it again (this illustration is not quite to scale, but still) so someone else might like it. Perhaps one of those thuggish fellows that works in the back and hauls the stuff inside would like to parade around the house in it. And that's okay with me. I'm hip. I'm with it. I'm liberal.

But seriously, when I told my best friend (the maid of honor) that I was going to Goodwill the dress, she was appalled. She was like "What if your daughter wants to see the dress? What if she wants to wear it on her wedding day?" (She's intending to wear her mom's dress.) I replied, "Ugh, if her tastes are just like mine and she winds up being my exact weight and size when her day comes, I will have to fork over another $30 to ChineseMoods.com for another cheap dress. The horrors!" (Yes, I wore a $30 wedding dress.) (And no, I don't even have any children, so the whole thing was hypothetical.)

Then I went to a potluck and poured myself a glass of wine. Apparently, it was a bit too generous:

The hostess later informed me she was kidding. There was wine left over at the end of the night, but I did not have any more, even when pressed to finish it off, because I was still frightened.

Instead, I sat around with the pets on the couch:

This image is a slight exaggeration. But only slightly. My friend's basset hound fell asleep on my lap and my legs went numb.

 I also force-fed myself a lot of cranberry sauce.

I brought one for me, and one for everyone else. (Stop judging.)

Then I went home and listened to Usher and did household chores, including vacuuming:

The next day my two friends were supposed to battle in Ms. Pac-Man, but only the one showed up. So I watched him play a few rounds then went home. Anticlimactic? Yes.

Did you know that if you survive long enough, she meets regular Pac-Man and they wind up making a baby? It gets dropped off via stork; you don't actually get to see them doing it.

Not that I'd want to see them doing it.

Just saying.

And finally, to top off the weekend, I saw Harry Potter 7a:

Helena Bonham-Carter as Bellatrix LeStrange was, honestly, my favorite part of the movie. She can work up a good, solid crazy.

So that's what happened this weekend. Next time you ask about my weekend, and I reply "oh, nothing," you'll know that there was a lot. Sort of.